A Civil War Parody

HARPER'S WEEKLY.

[OCTOBER 5, 1861.

626

THE LAST SUMMER BOARDER.

THE very last boarder—alone I am left,

And I'm thinking 'tis certainly queer,

When Harry, and Jack, and their sisters have gone, That I should be lingering here;

Not breathing a sigh when Lizzie Montague In the old yellow stage rode away,

When golden-haired Fanny went home long ago, And Mary a fortnight to-day.

The big maple-tree, like a great auctioneer, Hangs out to the wind its red flag, "Going, just going!" the crimson tints say, And yet—here beneath it I lag.

That dear little mother of mine, I am sure, Is astonished to find I don't come;

And "the governor's" grumbling I fancy I hear, "Well, well, it is time Hal was home."

Yes, yes, I must go; and yet, Susie Grey, I wonder if she would be sorry a bit? Ah, there she is now, sitting over the way, With some wonderful fabric to knit.

I've a half mind to ask her, the little coquette, But I know she would tease and say "No;" Nay, if I should tell her I go away soon, She would only say " When do you go?"

Now what does it mean, this pain at my heart? Stay !—who is that chap over there,

With a strap on his shoulder, a sword at his side?—Why, the rascal leans over her chair,

And she doesn't mind when his horrid mustache Just touches her round rosy cheek:

Oh! if I but had his cravat in my hand, It would trouble him slightly to speak!

Ah, Susie, my darling, my bonnie wild rose! I have learned it too late why I stay;

I have found you to love you, yet love evermore, Oh, would I had gone yesterday!

When the memory sweet of the long summer dream Yet enshrined you its life and its charm—They move from the window, they open the door—How loving she clings to his arm !

They are coming, I know, though I don't look at all; But I'll not let the bright cruel elf

Even guess how the grief at my heart makes it throb, Nor the soldier-I'll tutor myself.

A soft little hand that has trembled before,

Like a wee frightened bird, in my own

Is laid on my arm—I shiver with pain

As I list for the tremulous tone.

"Friend Harry, my brother's come back from the war, Aren't you glad, for my sake, he is here?"

And swift glancing down on the beautiful face. I saw on its brightness a tear.

"Why, Susie, I thought"— Never mind what I said, Colonel Grey soon my brother will be;

And the last boarder sealed with a first lover's kiss The adieu 'neath the old maple-tree.

HARPER'S WEEKLY.

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 5, 1861.

THE PROGRESS OF THE WEEK.  

WHEN the rebellion first broke out, each week, and often each day, brought to the household of every honest man its budget of disappointment and sickening despair. We failed, so it seemed, in every thing we undertook, and the rebels succeeded in every enterprise of treason. The seizures of arsenals and forts followed, in swift succession, the capture of revenue cutters and the robbery of Mints ; our troops only showed themselves in order to surrender in form ; our officers only won high rank to betray us ; we had only manufactured and accumulated cannon, rifles, and all other munitions of war in order to have them stolen by the rebels. In the history of those long black months-January, February, March, and April—there was little or nothing to cheer, and every thing to dispirit patriot hearts. In those dark days not a few honest men gave up the republic, and despaired of the soul of the Northern people. Even afterward, when the magnificent uprising of the North had proved that the American heart had not been petrified by sordid avocations, the want of skill in our leaders, and the unsoundness of men in high places, caused many a faint heart to revert to its previous despondency, and many a craven to sigh for peace at any price of dishonor or injury.

Thank God, those days are over ! Day succeeds day, and week succeeds week now, and we all feel that the cause of the nation is gaining, not losing ground. Each week brings to the reader of the weekly newspaper its budget, not of hopeless defeats and surrenders, but of victories and accessions of strength. Each week accumulates fresh proofs of the soundness of the American heart, of the strength of the Government, and of the gradual progress of the good cause.

Since our last paper went to press Kentucky has squarely taken her ground. She has compelled the traitor Magoffin to demand the withdrawal of the rebel troops, and has called upon General Anderson to defend the soil of Kentucky with Kentucky Volunteers. We can not help recalling, in this connection, an article which appeared in this journal on May 4, in which we took the ground that Kentucky must either muster her riflemen under our flag, or bear the brunt of the war on her peculiar institution. She has nobly chosen. In a few weeks thousands of gallant Kentuckians will be vindicating the State motto under the Stars and Stripes. It is hardly possible to exaggerate the importance of Kentucky's loyalty. She can not only keep Tennessee in abeyance, but can to a great extent paralyze the efforts of Arkansas and the rebels of the Lower Mississippi. With proper management she can and will furnish 50,000 troops for the war, men trained to the use of the rifle, and bred to know that a charge of powder is valuable, and must never be wasted. At the right time she will pour her volunteers into Eastern Tennessee, and arouse

to active life the latent Union sentiment in that region, as well as in the mountain section of Georgia and Alabama. Not the least important movement of the fall campaign will be that which takes its departure from Eastern Kentucky.

Since our last paper went to press, recruiting has received so vast a development that the apprehensions once entertained of the necessity of resorting to drafting under the Militia Act may now be dismissed. New York will furnish the 25,000 men required for the new levy in due season. Five or six thousand of them have already gone forward, and Governor Morgan is consolidating the various skeleton regiments in a practical, common-sense manner, so that every man who is willing to fight will have an opportunity of doing so. By the middle of October, New York, Indiana, Illinois, and Ohio will have fully 175,000, if not 200,000 men in the field. Pennsylvania is doing her full share, and glorious Massachusetts—the home of all that is truly noble in our American spirit—is doing better than any other State. By the time the fall campaign commences, the United States will have, as we said in our last number, 350,000 men in the field, exclusive of reserves and Home Guards.

The loan progresses satisfactorily. About a million dollars per day is subscribed by the people, though the Treasury Notes are not yet ready for delivery, and only one half the Government agents have been appointed. Advices from Europe render it certain that large subscriptions may be expected from thence. Vigorous efforts are being made by the British aristocracy to defeat British subscriptions, in order to accomplish the ruin of our Republic ; but Englishmen, like other people, love income, and will get it where they can, regardless of the opinions of their aristocratic leaders. From all that we can learn, we think it safe to calculate upon a subscription of fifty millions from Europe between this and the meeting of Congress. Further ground for congratulation is afforded by the success of the demand notes which are eagerly taken and retained by the people as a currency. It is evident that the Government will be able to float a hundred millions of these notes during the war.

There has been no military movement of great importance since our last number went to press. But the rebels under Beauregard and Johnston have examined our fortifications at Washington, and have prudently decided not to attack them. They have retired from the advanced position they occupied when we last wrote. Furthermore, they have been foiled in their scheme of hocusing Maryland out of the Union, and raising the Plug-uglies of Baltimore. The leading Maryland traitors have been sent to Fortress Monroe and Fort Lafayette, where they will be much more useful to their country than they would be at home, and secession and treason are dead in that State. Powerful naval expeditions are being fitted out for service on the Southern coast, and many days will not elapse before blows are struck which will resound to the heart of the rebel confederacy. In the West matters remain much as they were. A series of skirmishes and small battles is reported from thence; but General Fremont is not ready to take the field, and hence nothing decisive has occurred. He has a very large and constantly increasing force under his command, and will be able to perform his work in due season.

Our naval force is swelling to the required proportions. One of the new gun-boats has made her trial trip, and nearly a dozen are afloat. By 15th October most of them will be nearly ready for active operations, and by New Year we shall have, including the vessels purchased by the Navy Department, a fleet of 250 sail on the Southern coast. The bulk of these vessels will be steamers, and all of them will be well armed and equipped. Most of them will be of such light draft as to enter all the Southern harbors; so that not only will the blockade be perfect, but we shall have ample force to conduct two or three simultaneous expeditions against various points on the Southern coast, or to bombard any forts which may be deemed worth reduction. Nothing—but scruples on the part of our Government—can prevent the occupation of two or three Southern ports by 1st February, and their reopening to the commerce of the world. Our armories are turning out ordnance and arms of all kinds with such rapidity that by the beginning of winter we shall have twice as many arms as we had before we were robbed by the rebels.

This is a very different prospect from the one which we beheld in April, or even in June last. It ought to send a thrill of patriotic exultation to every sound American heart.

THE LOUNGER.

FROM THE LOUNGER'S SPECIAL CORRESPONDENT.

MIDNIGHT, September, 1861.

DEAR LOUNGER,—The little town of Weissnichtwo, which is mentioned by Carlyle in his interesting memoirs of the late lamented Dr. Teufelsdrockh, is just now the scene of great excitement. It seems that the chief boarding-house in the place was attacked at an early hour to-night by a party of desperate burglars. When the alarm

was given the guests hurried to defend the premises, and naturally turned to whatever weapon might be at hand to help themselves. Strange and suspicious to relate, however, they found their doors tied upon the outside ; when they burst them open they discovered that the tongs and shovels and brushes, which might have done service upon the instant, were removed; that the chairs, when they seized them to hurl at the enemy, fell to pieces ; that there were cords stretched across the passages, so that they tripped; and holes cut in the stair carpets, so that they stumbled and fell headlong. The confusion may be imagined. The indignation was intense, and the determination to square accounts with the midnight marauders rose to enthusiasm.

These gentry, meanwhile, were battering away at the doors and windows with hideous yells and execrations, trying to fire the building, and shooting any person they saw. It was clearly a question of life or death. If they pushed in it was evident that the house would be sacked and destroyed, and its defenders murdered. Of course, to save their lives, their families, their property, there must be no delay in taking the most summary measures, because, although the banditti were comparatively few, they had laid their plans well, and had fairly taken the house by surprise. There were one or two white-faced boarders who asked, with chattering teeth, why the robbers should not be asked what they would take to go away. Two or three others, lying flat upon their bellies, asked why the house couldn't be shared with the assassins. One or two others, who were famous bullies and gamblers, declared that, as Christians, it shocked them to see fellow-men fighting in such a dreadful way ; that the boarders ought to reflect how sorely they had exasperated the robbers by locking up the house ; and that they could not expect Heaven to smile upon such unnatural strife. "For our part," said they, " we are persuaded that those who draw the sword will perish by the sword."

" Fact ; sure's you're living men," shouted the master of the house. "These chaps who have taken up the blunderbuss are darned likely to perish by the rifle !" And he aimed from the window and brought down a robber.

Meanwhile some of the pale people had slipped into the dining-room, and agreed upon the following resolutions :

"1. Resolved, That at this moment the watchword which should be in every mouth is, 'This house must and shall be preserved.'

"2. Resolved, That the claim of any person or persons to break the peace and destroy property at their will is ridiculous, and all sane people hold burglary, arson, and murder to be criminal.

" 3. Resolved, That this ruthless midnight attack upon a peaceful household has forced every member to use every means to resist it; and it is the duty of each one of us to do all he can, until the safety of the house and its inmates is assured beyond question.

4. Resolved, That we hold next in guilt to the robbers who are attacking the house, those of the guests who insisted upon fastening the doors and windows, thereby alienating thieves from honest men, foolishly insisting that there was an irrepressible conflict between order and disorder, which could only terminate in the predominance of one or the other.

5. Resolved, That to the infatuation of these same people we can trace the catastrophes that have attended this attack. They might have palavered with indifferent people in the street and they have preferred to resist robbers, and incendiaries, and murderers, whereby two or three persons who might have made terms for us with the banditti have not been called upon to do that service.

6. Resolved, That as it was the duty of the master of the house and the guests to have called upon these persons, so it is their duty while resisting the robbers with fire and sword to offer them molasses candy all round if they will only go away.

7. Resolved, That peace ought to be made with all the robbers or none, and that any attempt upon our part to get rid of the bull-dogs with which they strengthen themselves will be fatal to all hope of our success in beating them.

8. Resolved, That it is the duty of the house to let us manage this matter.

9. Resolved, That while we admit the right of self-defense at any cost, we protest against the assumption of the master and guests of this house to defend themselves at all hazards.

10. Resolved, That if we dislike the way in which this house is defended we have a right to say so, whether it disheartens the guests and encourages the enemy or not.

11. Resolved, That we thank the boarders who are defending their lives, and fortunes, and sacred honor; and we will not forget that it is our duty to protect them from the sophistries of sharpers and the humbug of spouters.

12. Resolved, That the hopes of the house in this crisis depend upon us: that our management of the affair would be the most fortunate thing for every body : and that all who do not agree with us are treacherous bats or disloyal buzzards." The fight was still going on when the courier left. The very latest news is, that the banditti had been appalled by a loud and prolonged peal of laughter from the inside of the house, which came from the gallant band of men who are defending every thing precious to them, when they heard the resolutions passed by the squad of pale people in the dining-room. The guests are laughingly discussing two questions. First, What is the connection between the first three resolutions and the rest of the list? and, Second, Who are they in the house who have helped the robbers by tying doors, hiding pokers, and cutting carpets?

When these questions are answered you shall hear the replies.

Yours,

DOUBLELDEE. P.S.—Later. They are laughing louder.

CAVOUR.

IN the midst of our own tumult, the death of the statesman who rode the storm of Italy has passed with singularly small comment. We have indeed hardly paused to fling rosemary upon the grave of Mrs. Browning, who was so well known and so deeply loved among us. No man could regenerate Italy so well as Cavour ; and no woman could tell the story of Italian regeneration with such passionate eloquence as Mrs. Browning. It is curious that they died so simultaneously; and they will always be remembered together.

The one fact of Cavour's life is famous enough. He united Italy. But the details of his life are not familiar, so that a memoir, lately published in London by Mr. Dicey, can not fail of interest. As a boy, it seems that Cavour never played and never seemed to work. He was but a tolerable scholar, but learned whatever he wished to learn with singular ease, and busied himself with reading papers, political works, and histories. He was evidently so clever that he received his commission at sixteen, and was allowed to enter the army at eighteen, while twenty was the usual age. When he set out upon his travels he was already conspicuous although very young; and Austria, which hates youth and liberty, warned the police of Lombardy to beware.

Cavour had no very intimate friends. He was genial and frank to a certain point: then his reserve was impenetrable. He lived long in France and Switzerland. He visited England, but knew it rather by reading than by observation. He read English political literature with avidity, and to the end of his life tools the Times, the Morning Post, and the Economist, which latter paper was an especial favorite with him. The countries where he found freedom and progress were the lands in which he loved to travel ; and he traveled there with his eyes and mind open. He was ambitious, as the greatest men are ; and he early set himself the task of his life. "In Inv dreams I see myself already Minister of the Kingdom of Italy," he wrote when he was twenty-four years old.

For nearly two years of his life of preparation he lived upon an out-of-the-way property of an aunt's, and managed it so that he doubled the value of the estate and the rental. The only passion he indulged was a love of gambling. He once made gaming debts to the amount of forty thousand dollars. The Marquis his father paid them out of Cavour's future share in the property, telling him that he would pay no more from that source. Cavour did not renounce gambling, but reduced his stakes. He was thought the best player at the Whist Club in Turin ; and one evening, when he was Minister to France, he played with Rothschild at a thousand francs points, and rose from table the winner of a hundred and fifty thousand francs. But gambling was rather a taste with him than a passion. His sole passion was for public life.

Cavour was in no sense an idealist. His power was in seeing what was possible and doing it. In his domestic relations, as a rich bachelor, he was no better and no worse than the other earnest Italians of his time whose sole religion was the freedom of Italy. In his habits he was simple. Rising between four and five, he attended to his private affairs until six : then breakfasted lightly, and with the interval of half an hour's walking worked till the Chambers met. He dined late, and except when he gave state dinners, alone with his brother : then sat upon his balcony smoking a cigar, where the citizens of Turin saw "the Count" as they passed. After a half hour's nap he worked again until midnight, when he went to bed. He sometimes drove with his brother in a little pony carriage known to all Turin. When he was very tired he went to the theatre and fell asleep. He enjoyed most strolling about his own estates at Levi or his brother's at Santena; a man of rich and genial nature, whose kindly sympathy drew all men to him.

This was the greatest Italian of many years. " He lived for one object only," says his biographer, "and having achieved it-died."

NOT OUT OF THE WOODS.

IT is to be hoped that we shall not shout until we are out of the woods. That we shall not suppose the rebels are utterly discomfited and confounded because Mr. Franklin Miner, who is " first in position and intellect in the great county of Albemarle," says that Jefferson Davis ought to be spiked up where men can see him: and that we shall not believe the Rebellion is about to collapse because the Richmond Examiner expects an opposition party to show itself among the rebels. There was much more reason to believe that we were going to fail when the Tribune belabored the Administration. Absolute unanimity is no more possible to rebels than to loyal men. But a movement which has been contemplated and planned for thirty years, which has been secretly preparing for a year and openly organizing for ten months—a conspiracy of men who have been carefully alienated from the Government, and who have grown up with a generation that has been taught to hate the nation and love only a section—a war which is declared and felt by them to be a war to resist invasion, and to defend hearth, and shrine, and sacred honor—all this is not likely to break up and disappear in a night, like the ice in a river.

At this very moment Missouri is not safe ; Western Virginia is doubtful; Kentucky is about to fight upon her own soil ; Maryland is quieted only by military occupation; and our army of the Potomac is confronted by an army of rebels not less numerous. That we shall beat them at every point no sane man doubts. The conspiracy has not gained an inch since it started last November, and it has practically lost Maryland and Kentucky; while the nation, which six months ago had scarcely a soldier, and lay virtually at the mercy of an audacious foe, now stands erect and girt and fully ready for the fight. That we shall conquer and restore the supremacy of the Government no sane man (Next Page)