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HARPER'S WEEKLY. [NOVEMBER 21, 1863. 750 CORRESPONDENCE.THE BATTLE OF BRISTOE STATION.CAMP NEAR WARRENTON, VIRGINIA, Oct. 31, 1863. To the Editor of Harper's Weekly: In Harper's Weekly of November 7, 1863, is a representation of the battle of Bristoe Station. Your correspondent, Mr. Waud, says: "On a hill in his rear (Warren's) Arnold's Battery held a commanding position behind General Webb's Brigade—seen beyond the wind-mill pump, in front of a deserted camp." That position was held by Ricketts's (Pennsylvania) Battery, Captain Arnold being ever half a mile further down the railroad, and with the First Division, which brought up the rear. He did not get into position until the enemy's lines were broken. Your correspondent doubtless did not intend to misrepresent the facts of the case, but has done evident injustice to Captain Ricketts. I am, Sir, yours respectfully, C. B. BROCKWAY, First Lieutenant, Battery F, First Artillery, P. R. C. HUMORS OF THE DAY."I DON'T see," said Mrs. Partington, as Ike came home from school and threw his books into one chair, and his jacket into another, and his cap on the floor, saying that he didn't get the medal—"I don't see, dear, why you didn't get the medal, for certainly a more meddlesome boy I never knew. But no matter, when the adversary comes round again you will get it." Cardinal Alberoni had a large quantity of silver plate, and among other articles he possessed various salt-cellars, wrought in the form of different animals. A friend of his eminence borrowed a salt-cellar made in the shape of a tiger, but forgot to return it for some time. At length, after the lapse of some six or seven mouths, he sent it back, requesting at the same time the loan of another in the shape of a tortoise. The Cardinal desired to see the person who had brought the message. "You are sent," said he, "by the signor to borrow one of my salt-cellars?" "Yes, your eminence; I am his steward. "You will be good enough to tell your master that I lent him one in the form of a tiger, which is one of the swiftest animals on the earth, and it has been more than six months in returning; were I to lend him the tortoise, which is the slowest of animals, I fear it would never return." Many proverbs admit of contradiction, as witness the following: "The more the merrier" Not so—one hand is enough in a purse. "Nothing but what has on end." Not so—a ring has none, for it is round. "Money is a great comfort." Not when it brings it thief to the gallows. "The world is a long journey." Not so—the sun goes over it in a day. "It is a great way to the bottom of the sea." Not so—it is but a stone's cast. "A friend is best found in adversity." Not so—for then there is none to be found. "The pride of the rich makes the labor of the poor." Not so—the labor of the poor makes the pride of the rich. A gentleman who had married a second time indulged in recurring too often in conversation to the beauties and virtues of his first consort. He had, however, barely discernment enough to discover that the subject was not an agreeable one to his present lady. "Excuse me, Madam," said he, "I can not help expressing my regrets for the dear deceased." "Upon my honor," said the lady, "I can most heartily affirm that I am as sincere a mourner for her as you can be." SENSITIVE.—A gentleman observed an urchin who had a large slice of bread in his hand, and who was crying very bitterly. "My son," he exclaimed, "what are you crying about?" "Mother won't—boo-hoo-oo—put any butter on my bread—boo-hoo-oo!" "Oh, is that all?" said the gentleman. "Come, dry up your tears and be a man." "It ain't so much the butter," retorted the little urchin; "it's the disposition of the old woman." "How is Europe bounded?" said a teacher to one of his little pupils. "I, thou, he, she, it," was the reply. "For shame, Johnny! Try again." "Oh, please, Sir, I remember now; that is the answer to one of my grammar questions, and I thought I was to be heard my grammar first." "You say, Mr. Jay, that you saw the plaintiff leave the house. Was it in haste?" "Yes, Sir." "Do you know what caused the haste?" "I'm not sartin; but I think it was the boot of Mr. Stubbs, the gentleman he boards with." "That will do, Mr. Jay. Clerk, call the next witness." "I'll take the shine out of you," as the eclipse said to the moon. "You be hanged," as the washer-woman said to the clothes. "I am transported to see you," as the convict said to the kangaroo. "We prey for meat," as the foxes remarked when they jumped into the poultry yard. "What blessings children are!" as the registrar observed when he took the fees for registering them. A judge in India is reported to have thus addressed a person convicted before him, prior to passing sentence: "Prisoner at the bar, Providence has given you a good degree of health and strength, instead of which you go about the country stealing ducks." Women should remember that men would often ring their tender fingers only to wring their tender hearts. It is said that the pig ran away from the butcher because he had heard that prevention is better than cure. Two boatmen were talking at Brighton the other day, when one asked the other whether the Prince of Wales ever went to church. "Lord bless you!" said he, "what should he go to church for? We, poor souls, are obliged to pray for ourselves, but there are enough to pray for him." Joannes Scotus, being in company with Charles the Bald, King of France, that monarch merrily said, "What is the difference between a Scot and a sot?" Scotus, who sat opposite the King, said, "Only the breadth of the table." A person who looks at the world in somewhat gloomy colors, recently complained in M. Auber's presence how hard it was that people must grow old. "Hard as it is," replied the veteran composer, "it seems to be the only means yet discovered of enjoying long life." A Yankee has invented a rat exterminator, consisting of a sort of powder snuff. The animal jerks his head off at the third sneeze! "Why don't you wheel the barrow of coals, Ned?" said a miner to one of his sons. "It's not it very hard job; there's an inclined plane to relieve you." "Ah!" replied Ned, who had more relish for wit than work; "the plane may be inclined but I am not." What commodity is always afforded at cost?—The law. In what circumstances is a woman that wears stays?—Straitened circumstances. The young fellow who makes engagements with the ladies only to break them oft is a beau of promise. A LEGAL OPINION.—It is not libelous to call a man who has kicked you down stairs, a free-booter. ADVICE TO Boys.—Don't steal your mother's preserves. It is a sirup-titious business, and may lead to all manna of wickedness. A wonderful story-teller, addicted to humming an air, beginning "Strike the Lyre," was much surprised when one of his acquaintances, taking him at his word, knocked him down. At a spiritual circle the other evening a gentleman requested the medium to ask what amusement was most popular in the spiritual world. The reply was, "Reading our own obituary notices." A gentleman who was in arrears for several weeks' board and lodging, complained one morning that his coffee was not settled. "You had better settle for the coffee and then complain," said the landlady. If a man has but one eye, let him get a wife, and she will be his other I. ADVERTISEMENTS.Baldness.BOSTON, November 24, 1859. Gentlemen: When I first used your Cocoaine, I had been bald seven years. In the mean time I had tried a dozen different preparations, specially recommended for baldness (and all claiming to be infallible), without any beneficial effect. The ladies of my household urged me to try your Cocoaine, which I did, to please them, not having, myself, any faith in the power of man to restore my hair. I have used the contents of one bottle, and my bald pate is covered all over with young hair, about three-eighths of an inch long, which appears strong and healthy, and determined to grow. In a word, your Cocoaine is excellent—the best preparation for the hair I have ever known, and the only one which accomplishes more than it promises. Very truly your obliged and obedient servant, D. T. MERWIN. Messrs. JOSEPH BURNETT & CO., Boston. Elliot's New RepeatersAre now ready. The most safe, compact, durable, effective, sure, and reliable Revolvers made. Carry large balls (No. 32 cartridge), are rapidly loaded and fired—conveniently carried in the vest—whole length five inches—four barrrels—each rifled gain twist. The Trade supplied. ELLIOT ARMS CO., 404 Broadway, N. Y. SOLDIERS' COMPANY PINS.Constantly on hand and Engraved to Order, and sent free on receipt of Price. Every Co. from A to M Solid Silver, $1. Solid Silver, with Letters in GOLD Relief, $1.50. Solid 18 k. GOLD, $3.50. Corps Badges Sent free by Mail or Express on receipt of Price. Solid Silver, $1.50. Solid Silver, $1.50. Enameled. Enameled.Solid Gold, $4.Solid Gold, $4.Badges for the 1st, 2d, 3d, 5th, 6th,
11th, and 12th Army Corps.
White, 3d Division Blue. None but perfect Goods sent. Terms Cash in advance. Send for a Catalogue. Address C. L. BALCH & CO., 208 Broadway, New York. Successors to J. G. PACKARD & CO. Watches! Watches!The Cheapest and Best. ARRANDALE & CO., 212 Broadway, invite attention to two of their pleasing novelties. The Astronomical or Lundr Watch not only tells the time of day, but also contains, on a beautiful enameled dial, a hand pointing with unfailing precision to the day of the month! It has massive fine gold plate hunting case, full jeweled movements, Chronometer balance, and all the the recent improvements. Everybody should have one $45.00 The Officer's Watch, a great favorite in the Army, has the patent lever movement, with 13 jewels, hunting cases of sterling silver, beautifully engraved, containing the new Patent Time Indictor in the centre, by which the hour may be ascertained without opening the case. Every Officer should have it ........................$25.00 Send for circular describing all our Watches. We want Agents in every regiment and every county on unusually liberal terms. All Watches sent out in good working order, properly regulated, warranted for 12 months, and mailed free to any address. ARRANDALE & CO., 212 Broadway, New York. H. A. HARVEY, 84 Maiden Lane, N. Y., TWINES, Ropes, CORDAGE, and Yarn, Steam Packing, Wick, CARPET WARP, Fish Lines, Blocking Cord, Loom Cord and Surgeons' Tow, Writing and Wrapping PAPER, Envelopes, and Paper Bags. NEW WORK FOR CANVASSERS —Send for circulars of the "GEM OF CANVASSING BOOKS." Agents wanted for every section of the country. Address L. F. HOVEY, No. 13 Spruce Street, New York.
How the United States
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